that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
