Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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