This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
