just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
