You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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