So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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