Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
