Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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