Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
A+ Viking dick
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