I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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