he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
