If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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