you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
