Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize