My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
