Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
