Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
