I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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