Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
