ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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