the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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