you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
