you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
