I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
