he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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