hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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