i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
