u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
