when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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