I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
