Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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