Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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