am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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