The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
