Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Life is so much better after having sex.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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