Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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