in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
