i think my mom watched the whole time
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
