Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
