So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
