At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
