If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize