I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
