I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
