It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
