can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
