you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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