I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she looked like the before picture.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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