the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize