Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize