Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
