honey bunches of taint.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
