from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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