wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize