I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize