She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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