OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
