Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You can't motorboat a personality
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize