I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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