i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I can text with my tongue
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
