Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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