I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
