they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
