no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
