Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
