you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
