He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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