hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
