12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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