that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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