CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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