he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
