my sisters under your porch take her home
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Randomize
