omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize