dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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