I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
