Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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