I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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